Eliminating Pests Without WMDs

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Blog

Janelle Sorensen

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Every winter, my husband and I marvel at the ability of mice to defy the laws of physics by contorting their molecular make-up in order to squeeze through any tiny crack or crevice they find in the exterior walls of our home.

Usually they are heard and not seen - a little scratching behind walls or a nearly inaudible squeak. My husband strategically places traps around the house, and I imagine him releasing the captured mice at a rodent resort where they get poolside peanut butter service.

Believe me when I say that I respect the concepts of biodiversity and cohabitation with many species. I just don't want most of them in any proximity whatsoever to where I eat, sleep, or bathe.

One unfortunate day, when just my 4 year-old daughter and I were at home, a brave (or perhaps naïve) young mouse ran across our living room. Instead of bursting out in hysterical shrieks, I decided to set a good example for my daughter and calmly deal with the situation. Thus, I retrieved our broom and began my comical pursuit.

The mouse ended up running behind a large bureau where we engaged in a ridiculous dance. I poked my broom behind the bureau on the left side and it ran to the right. I ran to the right side and poked again and it ran left. Back and forth, back and forth. As the chase continued, my adrenaline pumped faster and faster until finally, I yanked the bureau away from the wall and went in for the kill. (Note to the squeamish: skip the next sentence). I hit the mouse with immense force (and not once, but over and over and over) until blood sprayed onto the walls and the broom handle snapped in half.

I stared in disbelief, my whole body trembling, and then remembered my daughter had been sitting on the couch witnessing the whole debacle. I took a deep breath, walked away from the murder scene and over to where she was sitting. She was perfectly silent, sitting absolutely still. I thought she must be permanently traumatized - how am I going to explain this? I asked gently, "Are you okay, honey? I know that may have been kind of scary to watch." She answered with complete nonchalance, "It's okay Mommy. That mouse couldn't live here and there's a lot more mouses. Can I watch PBS?" Sure, sweetheart. You'd never witness anything as inappropriate as that on Sesame Street.

What's the point of this story? As I said earlier, I really don't like bugs or rodents in my home. Not surprisingly, neither do most other people. And, while I beat my unwanted guest to a pulp, others opt for less physical methods, like poison or bug bombs. Neither way is ideal. In fact, even though pesticides likely won't give your kids nightmares, they may cause permanent health impacts. They're linked to a wide range of health problems including asthma, brain damage, and even cancer.

The best way to get rid of rodents and bugs is actually not to get them in the first place. Well, duh, tell me something I didn't know, right? Really, though. Keep your house clean and uncluttered. Keep foods in your pantry in airtight containers. Clean spills immediately. Regularly wash out your garbage can and recycling containers. Dust, dirt, and crumbs are like a free buffet for bugs and critters. And you may as well have a flashing neon sign inviting them in if you have a torn screen or cracked foundation. Don't provide dinner and don't provide a way in, and you should be okay.

If that fails, try a safer remedy like Boric Acid or food-grade diatomaceous earth. Of course these ingredients aren't a panacea for your pest problems. There are specific tips for every kind of invader and you can learn all about them at BeyondPesticides.org.